Best Friends Forever
by kalijahrulez
Summary: Set five years into the future. Alison and Emily are getting married and trying to move on from the past. Alison is having trouble moving on from a certain failed friendship and is still trying to understand why Shana chose Jenna over their fifteen year friendship. So, Spencer suggests that she address Shana to get it all out and finally move on to a brighter future with Emily.


**A/N: So, this is going to be a one-shot set five years into the future. The girls stopped A and are just trying to move on from the past, but Alison is having difficulty coming to terms with the ending of one certain girl. Her supposed-to-be friend, Shana. Alison is going to be marrying Emily soon and officially starting the rest of their lives, but to really let go of the past, she needs to have a heart-to-heart with the person who hurt her the most. Enjoy. (:**

"Maybe this isn't a good idea..." Emily says, and I smile at her.

"Em, I love you. I can do this. Don't worry. I won't be long." I promise, kissing her lightly on the lips before getting out of the car.

I make my way down the long, paved sidewalk that leads through the cemetery until I find the grave that I am looking for. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before saying what I need to say. I need to move on, and this is what I need to do to move on.

"Shana...

Just saying your name makes me feel so many different things. Hurt, betrayed, angry, sad, but mostly confused...

What happened? When did it happen? What changed? What made it change?

Questions that will forever remain unanswered.

I know you loved her, but didn't you love me too? Didn't I mean something to you?

Didn't our fifteen year friendship mean something to you? Because it meant a hell of a lot to me.

You were my oldest friend and I trusted you with my life. I trusted you to be there for me just as I had always been there for you.

I know I wasn't always the best person. I was a bully. I was a self-centered, narcissistic bitch to most people, I know.

But not to you. Never to you. All I ever was to you was the best friend that I could be.

From building sand castles together at the beach when we were five, to me teaching you how to ride a bike when we were seven, to you telling me that you were lesbian when we were fourteen and me assuring you that it was okay to be different, to all of the slumber parties, inside jokes, secrets that only we knew about each other, and all the way up to you promising you would always be there for me when I had no one else... You were my best friend.

Even when things seemed hopeless, when it seemed I would never get to return home and have a normal life again, I felt lucky because of you. I had someone that I could trust, someone who would never let me down, someone who truly loved me. I had you, Shana, and I loved you.

We were like sisters from day one. I can't remember much from when I was three, but I remember meeting you as if it happened yesterday.

I was standing in line with my mom to go see the Nutcracker when I saw you sitting on the sidewalk coloring. You noticed me and how tired I looked and asked if I would like to come sit on your jacket with you and so I did. We colored together and laughed until our mothers called us back to the line to get the tickets. That was one of the greatest days of my life.

All year I would look forward to summer so that I could go to Georgia and see you. We would laugh, hang out, and talk as if we had never been separated. When I would feel us growing apart while I was away, the second I saw your face when I returned, everything was back to normal. We were sisters again.

Look, I'm not really here to reminisce. I'm not here to cry, so ignore my tears, because I am here to tell you that I forgive you.

I forgive you for betraying me, for turning your back on me, for breaking my heart... I forgive you because despite your betrayal I still love you, Shana. Also, because I don't want to hold a grudge, especially not against my dead best friend. I understand that you fell in love with Jenna and wanted to avenge her, but what was I to you in the end?

As I looked down at your lifeless body, I was heartbroken. Not because you had just betrayed me, but because I loved you. I loved you the way that I thought you loved me.

I just want to know when it happened. When was the exact moment that you turned on me? When did you look at me and decide that I needed to die? When did you look at Jenna and realize that you loved her more?

Did she tell you that she loved you? Did she promise you forever? Because I made you a similar promise when we were six. Best friends forever, remember?

We held out our pinkies and connected them. We smiled at each other with nothing but love and adoration. Best friends forever. I know we were just a couple of kids who still saw the world through the eyes of an innocent, little kids who had yet to face life's difficult challenges and witness the ugliness in people, but that promise is as true to me now as it ever was.

I'm here because I am trying to understand why you chose her. Why would you throw away fifteen years for someone that you knew for less than two? I may not have always been a good person, so maybe that's it, but neither was Jenna. She had you fooled, Shana. She wasn't in love with you and you died for nothing. You might believe it, but I am sorry for that.

So, I guess that's it. Spencer told me that coming here and talking to you might help me move on, and she was right. I am going to move on. I am going to live a long and happy life, surrounded by people who love me and who I love. I am getting married this Fall. Emily and I are going to Vegas and we are finally going to get our happily ever after. Aria, Spencer, and Hanna will be the bridesmaids of course, and CeCe the maid of honor.

I wish things would have been different and you could be there. This is the last time I am going to come here, Shana. When I walk away from your grave, I will never look back. I will go on and continue to do what I have been doing for the last five years, working on my future and trying to be a better person. This is it. Goodbye, Shana."


End file.
